My awesome friends Justin and Emma surprised me with a gift the other night. I tore open the pretty floral wrapping, revealing the words "What's Your Poo Telling You?" against the warm brown background of a hardcover book by Josh Richman and Anish Sheth, M.D. With illustrations by Peter Arkle.
I'm pretty sure this qualifies as one of the best presents I've ever received. It discusses the varied types of poo one may encounter (the book is exclusive to human feces...it tells you nothing about the kind that, say, descends from a bird in the sky and lands on your hand) including the "hanging chad," "soft serve," and the "log jam."
My favorite though, is the "clean sweep," defined as "rare and special occasions [when] you engage in the entire stooling process from engagement to deployment and note, in the cleanup phase, that amazingly there is no poo residue on the toilet paper." Because of some ~minor~ traumatizing experiences as a kid who couldn't spend less than 45 minutes on the toilet (my best friend's parents would often have to delay our dinner in order to accommodate my presence), I have learned to perfect the "clean sweep." You learn to recognize the feeling that proceeds this type of poo and take advantage of it.
Or maybe it's just all the fiber I eat.
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Jess, no one knows what to say to this post. Or maybe they were just scared off by the warning. Regardless, this is way more than I ever wanted to know about your defecation process.
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