Owwies.

My stomach has been aching something terrible. Actually, I just wanted to use that phrase.

In truth it's only aching badly once every ten minutes. During the intervals I'm fine. But then the ten minute mark approaches and I feel like a little man has been sitting in the middle of my abdominal cavity and suddenly decides to pull on my small intestines from all directions and scrunch them into a tiny ball. And then the little dude laughs and lets go.

Well, little dude. I don't know who you are but I'm going to get rid of you somehow! Whether you are hurled out via the oral cavity or pooed, your final destination is surely the toilet! Buahahaha.