Jessie: 2; Opponent: 0

Life is punctuated by many challenges which we must overcome in order to successfully achieve happiness, self sufficiency and self satisfaction.

Tonight, my friends, I met one of those challenges. It was the second event in an epic battle I wage against an entire species (or bunch of species): the roach. I consider myself an appreciator of animals, but bugs are the exception and roaches I cannot bear. It is for this reason that when I found myself face to face with an enormous antennaed fuggernaut sitting at the foot of my bed I knew I had to fight. (Ok, maybe I hyperventilated and squealed to my roommate for 20 minutes first, but THEN I knew I had to fight).

My previous assault on a cockroach was a strenuous attempt to drown it in the bathtub at 4am, all the while suppressing my gurgles and screams so as not to wake the guests sleeping on the couch. After 45 minutes of chasing the creature with the shower head, the roach was effectively suffocated, damp and lifeless on the ceramic floor of the shower.

This time I had to be swift. I did not have 45 minutes of effort to spare. After deciding not to try to paralyze it with shaving cream, I put on my battle boots (one salmon colored cowboy boot and one shiny black galosh -- no time for matching!) and retrieved the bug spray from the kitchen. The roach only flailed its many legs for about three seconds before it was dead. Another victory for me.

So this kind of makes me feel happy, self sufficient, and satisfied. But I also feel a little guilty. At least now I have to wash all my sheets. And the mattress pad. And the comforter(s). Still, perhaps that's not a fair punishment for taking a life, even if it's the life of a roach.