I've noticed that broccoli comes up fairly often in my blog. That's probably because I love it. Unfortunately it makes quite a mess of my mouth, leaving me with a speckled green smile that I never notice until my next trip to the bathroom (which actually happens sooner than later at the rate I pee).
It's so unfair that so many of the best foods leave visible residue of their deliciousness. Fearing black spotty gums, I unsuccessfully tried to resist a poppy seed bagel this morning and succumbed to the lure of an oreo with its trail of crumbs left to line my lips. Spinach and powdered donuts are also particularly horrid offenders, though they're not as frequently present in my daily routine. And corn is also pretty bad. Not only does it require treatment with an immediate round of flossing, but kernels somehow end up on the far reaches of my face. Maybe I should take that tissue out of my nose and clean myself up a bit. (Ew. I'm disgusted that I even had that thought).
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If someone is annoying you and you just wanna shut them up, all you gotta do is this. Just look at them, pause for a second or two, and then exclaim "you got shit in your teeth". Watch how they curl up in embarrassment and how frantic they become. It works really well. And you get two things out of it. You get to shut an annoying person up and you get a laugh out of it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should flush your mouth with water more often and check yourself in the bathroom mirror immediately after eating these foods. Or curl your lips around your teeth and talk like you're one of those old ladies who isn't wearing her dentures. I think that would be far less publicly humiliating than broccoli in your teeth.
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