This morning at 7:53am I ate a lovely breakfast of a vanilla smoothie with chocolate granola and a piece of bread with spray-on butter (like spray-on tan, only tastier).
Then at 8:10am I packed myself a lovely bacon, zucchini and tomato sandwich (oh mayo, I love you).
At 8:30am I left for work.
At 9:30am I ate my lunch.
Sh*t.
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Spray on butter sounded gross. Then you compared it to spray on tans. Now I'm grossed out and thinking about half orange David Schwimmer.
ReplyDeleteYou're supposed to eat bacon for breakfast. You did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI think spray on tan is tastier. Also, fewer calories.
Wait, what time did you shit? That was unclear. Thanks for the rundown of exactly what you did all morning, though. Riveting.
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