Thursday, April 30, 2009

Popcorn and the Burnies

I have a compulsion to talk about food always.

I've decided that the best pieces of popcorn are the ones that are not fully popped. The corn is still mostly inside the shell -- kind of like a turtle! Only crunchy and delicious!

My favorite parts of most other food are what I like to call the burnies. The charred parts. The carbon. I love the burnies on burgers, veggies, and especially eggs. And it's a good thing I exhibit this preference, because I can't cook a darn thing without setting the smoke alarm off.

60 comments:

  1. Totally thought that said "Popcorn and the Bunnies" when I first read it. That would be an awesome band name.

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  2. Eggs sunny side up w/ extra cripsy edges. I can relate to that.

    I hope by burnies you're not refering to "Burnies"
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Burnies

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  3. or nearly burning down the apt...

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  4. Oh man, I hope people don't google "the burnies," looking for your sicko definition, and then end up here.

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  5. I'll have you know turtles are delicious! Especially the burnies!

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  6. Do turtles get the burnies you think?

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  7. Which burnies are you speaking of? Because urbandictionary.com has two. I think turtles get the first kind of burnies but not the second. Do turtles even have sex?

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  8. Kelsey has swine flu. If you respond to her comments you will get swine flu

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  9. Hey! I feel personally attacked. I do not have swine flu. A malicious and baseless rumor.

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  10. fair-haired lesbians are most susceptible to it. AND you live in queens. the chances of you NOT having it are astronomically low

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  11. oh shit...jess, please ban kelsey for giving me swine flut

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  12. What kind of question is do turtles even have sex? Jeez.

    http://darisa.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/turtle-sex.jpg

    Jess, weild that banhammer and ban everyone whose name is longer than 4 letters

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  13. Turtles have sex. In fact, there is a courting ritual as well as sex noises. Not as loud as someone we know though ;)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkKYNwYBYrs

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  14. I really want some law enforcement agency to confiscate Nate's computer right now and find his google search for "turtle sex."

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  15. Also, did you hear the babe from Top Gun is now a lesbian?

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  16. Manni wanks off to turtles doing it.

    He probably would have been super gross at our wedding kelsey.

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  17. And Jess isn't banning anyone. You know this commenting thing would be seriously lacking adorable charm without me.

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  18. I once googled robot poo at work. And then had a panic attack cuz I thought IT might see.

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  19. Oh noesss! Danny you better watch out. As a fair haired lesbo you are in danger of swine flu.

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  20. Haha! Our turtle wedding! You and Ed better not have any plans to involve a giant sea turtle in your impending nuptials. That was just a you and me thing.

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  21. Jess, what is wrong with you? Why are you image searching robot poo? What even comes up in such an image search? Robots don't poo!

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  22. Babe, I'll never love him like you. Heck, we aren't even inviting Adam Mesh!

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  23. Check it: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ipeSnHEXtn0/SK2mD50wsKI/AAAAAAAAASc/h2tHZlaRmYM/s400/robot.JPG

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  24. I totally forgot about Adam Mesh! You should invite him!

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  25. I would be the star guest at your wedding. I'm awesome. Especially after a few ice luge shots of vodka.

    Like Bret and Jermaine said, "the humans are dead." So will the robots start pooing instead? The answer is of course, yes.

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  26. Jess has some slash fic involving Hanson and robot poo. She feels it doesn't violate the sanctity of their marriages.

    Here's an excerpt: "As Taylor watched the constipated Robot straining he felt his member harden. Zack came over and began rubbing the tiny shaft. 'mmbop! mmmmmbop! MMMMMMMBOP!' Taylor screamed as he released his gooey mess (which immediately impregnated his wife even though she was 25 miiles away). Issac just sat in the corner with his stupid monkey face".

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  27. Ew. Take it back. Now. That violates the sanctity of their existence!

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  28. Hehe. I'm so glad Jen has joined the fun.

    Although, I think that last post brought you dangerously close to being banned by Jess. She had a little freak out.

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  29. Wow, methinks Jen has written fanfic before.

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  30. Jess just admitted she doesn't know how to ban anyone!

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  31. I will figure it out. Jen you've spoiled my dreams forever.

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  32. while you're at it disable the CAPTCHAs

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  33. That was a direct qoute from Jess' fanfic account on fanfic.com. Her username is TheHandsonpoopers if you are interested.

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  34. I second that. (Of course I had to google what a CAPTCHA was first.)

    You totally have your own blog.

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  35. I do not write fanfic. I only write this blog.

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  36. Jess, ban Manni for dashing my zombie dreams.

    You totally write fanfic. I bet the robots pooing in your Hanson erotica are R2D2 and C3PO

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  37. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (channeling Luke Skywalker)

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  39. dashing? like Kim Kardashian? I would totally turtle sex that!

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  40. Can you really use turtle sex as a verb like that?

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  41. We should get Woodsman house a roomba that shits dust bunnies

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  42. Manni used turtle sex as a verb last night. Ba chika waa waa

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  43. guys, only 3 hours more till kelsey starts having menopause!

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  44. 3 hours and TEN MINUTES. Don't round up!

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  45. Kels, you should join the red hat club!

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  46. Omg, seriously, when we're actually old can we do that?

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  47. Why hasn't my professor posted my grades? OMG I'm such a Stuy alum.

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  48. We can start our own, more awesome version. The pink leopard print bra club!

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  49. Do black and red zebra print bras count?

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  50. I am all about the pink leopard print bra club.

    Manni, don't leave us! Join our club!

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  51. Manni quit because he didn't want to be outted as a card carrying member of the pink leopard print bra club.

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  52. Nate! I told you that in confidence! Bastard!

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  53. Manni doesn't wear bras (headlights really turn Justin on)

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  54. You would know. You're the 'other man'. I'll cut you.

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  56. Can we form a group like this one? http://www.lupec.org/

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