You will never believe what happened today! I was hit with some ferocious bird poo! I say ferocious because it literally attacked me. I was walking to the liquor store with two friends when we heard a thwack. The thwack of a thousand molecules of bird poo striking me on the arm and thumb as the bird dove across the sky.
They say it's good luck right? I was silently celebrating. I hope this good luck is indicative of the possibility that I might get l**d again sometime in the future before I die.
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1) You know you don't need to censor the word laid.
ReplyDelete2) I think you should sue that bird for assault. Thwak is a bad sound to hear when being hit by bird poo. Not quite as bad as PAJOWA, but still...
1) I second Jen. You do not need to censor the word laid. The only people who won't know that that's what that word is probably won't know what getting laid means anyway.
ReplyDelete2) I was there for this bird shit incident. There was a very loud thwack. But there was really not that much bird shit on you and it was just your hand, not your head, or your face, or even your clothes. So I think it can only be indicative of a little bit of good luck. Like, maybe you'll find a quarter. I think you need to go stand under a bunch of birds sitting on a power line so that you get really good luck.
To reiterate: Jess, I want you to go stand under birds and try to get shit on as much as posible. Who else thinks this is a good idea?
Kelsey, why you gotta be so brilliant?
ReplyDeleteSo one time I was at the Tenement giving a tour when a bird pooped on my leg. One of the visitors handed my a kleenex and the show went on. It was pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd yours was a gentle plop...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in kindegarten we took trips to our local library branch (which is not the one on Morris Park that exists today, but was actually quite a distance away from the school). To get there we had to pass under the subway tracks and there were like a million pigeons and I was always so freaked out that I would run through it so as not to get pooped on/attacked/what have you. This one bitchy girl always laughed at me for doing that...until a group of pigeons pooed all over her stupid head/face/arms/etc.
ReplyDeleteJust thought I'd share my uplifting tale.
You're from Queens so you probably have the swine flu but this came from a bird. So do you have the bird flu? I'm really confused. Which flu would make a bird shit on you so forcefully?
ReplyDeleteSwine flu, no question.
ReplyDelete