Popcorn and the Burnies

I have a compulsion to talk about food always.

I've decided that the best pieces of popcorn are the ones that are not fully popped. The corn is still mostly inside the shell -- kind of like a turtle! Only crunchy and delicious!

My favorite parts of most other food are what I like to call the burnies. The charred parts. The carbon. I love the burnies on burgers, veggies, and especially eggs. And it's a good thing I exhibit this preference, because I can't cook a darn thing without setting the smoke alarm off.

A correction perhaps?

A friend of mine (one of the five readers of this blog) claims that oatmeal is a solid food. I think that's debatable. I will concede to his second point, that the fiber in oatmeal produces lots of solids.

Do you ever have one of those days where you realize you haven't eaten anything solid?
Recipes for such a day include meals and snacks consisting of:
Smoothies
Yogurt
Pudding
Oatmeal
Soup
Applesauce
Probably some cool whip, slightly melty.

Hurry up.

I went speed dating but I somehow escaped without any horror stories. Some guy asked me how I managed to have hair as long as I do. And he suggested that if his hair were as long as mine, it would look similar. But that was the event at its strangest.

Going in, I was certain that some guy would tell me I had chubby arms or crooked eyes and it would lead to the development of a whole range of new body complexes and self image issues. But there was nothing remotely like that. Without any superficial/appearance concerns to dwell on, I think I'll just fixate on how boring this blog post is.

I really have to urinate. But I ate so much frosting and cool whip (to offset my craving for bread -- it's Passover) that I cannot currently heave myself up from this couch.

Rant!

I have a friend and he doesn't like gmail. In trying to convince me of its suckiness, he presented a variety of arguments related to bodily functions and the poo analogies were flowing. So here they are, for all [four of you who know this blog exists] to enjoy:

M: The User Interface. it makes me want to throw up...and then. In Gmail, the line for the email in your inbox has the contents of the email spilled out on it. like guts.

M: ...google won the search engine war back in 97 because they had an excellent clean UI vs. yahoo vs. msn. vs. altavista etc....and now it's like they have fecal incontinence. it's spilling ALL OVER THE PLACE.

M: I still like the search engine. it's still clean. But this gmail ....like they were saving up their load.

and just let it rip on this application.


Teeheehee does anyone else find this SO SO funny?

I hate getting runs in my stockings. But it has its perks. I love it when I apply the appropriate amount of clear nail polish to prevent the run from expanding. It dries to my leg and feels really good when you pull it off. I also like getting my eyebrows waxed, picking my toes, and pumpkin from a can.