I am dummy hear me roar.

This morning I packed up my stuff and went to the gym. Mid-stairmaster I realized that I'd probably neglected to put my flip flops back into my bag. So I had to shower without flip flops (gross!) and walk 7 blocks to my office in a black dress and white nike sneakers.

Oh, wait. That's not all. I also discovered that despite opening my underwear drawer and contemplating which bra would look nice with my electric blue underwear, I forgot to put one in my bag. And yes, I'm a member of the "itty bitty titty committee" but it was still hella uncomfortable and I was still hella embarrassed as I made the trek to my office. When I got there, I decided to just suck it up and put my sports bra back on even though 45 minutes later it was pretty darn wet with sweat. And that you can see it sticking out from my dress. Yum.

I lost my poor meatball

I finally cleaned my keyboard at work. It was disgusting. I removed actual cobwebs from between the keys (the space between A and Z was particularly troublesome). Crumbs, dust, eyelashes, poppyseeds, onion flakes, garlic (I like my bagels), and what I can only presume to be flecks of dead skin piled out onto my desk as I whacked the keyboard on its underside.

Seriously people. It's really hard to focus when you know you're leaving your job in 4 weeks and 1 day and moving on to bigger and better things. I'll do anything to get out of actual research. Cleaning is way more fun than making the wheels turn.

I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas.

Today I wore a dress that I bought (and wore) when I was a 12 year old. I wore it in 7th grade. And it still fits. And I still like it. So weird.

I guess this is only feasible because my vertical growth was curtailed by the time I was ten (at which time my epiphyseal plates in my long bones were replaced by the epiphyseal lines :P) and my horizontal growth was diminished by my...erm...adhesion...to the Weight Watchers plan. Uh...so here's to wearing dresses that were sold at Banana Republic in 1997!

Fuji Apple Chicken Salad and French Onion Soup with No Croutons.

I wonder how much time I can waste today at work by playing around with the nutrition calculator on the Panera website. I bet I can waste a lot of time.

Bright Young Women, Sick of Swimming, Ready to Stand

To elaborate on a previous post, I really hate taking showers. I avoid them at all costs. At least in my apartment. Ok, in truth I avoid cleaning the house at all costs, and the resulting dirt and grime that accumulates in my shower leads to my aversion at all costs to cleaning myself. Showering at the gym is awesome. But standing 5 inches deep in sudsy water that refuses to drain while unable to see to the bottom of the exfoliating-bead-laden tub in my home is one of the worst ideas I can possibly conceive. Bleh!

Wind beneath my wings

On my flight back to New York from Chicago last night, my brother and I sat together in the front of the plane, and my dad got stuck alone in the back. A half hour into the flight, a space across the aisle from the brother and I opened up, so I fetched my father and urged him to the front.

After the flight, my father, who was envious that his children did not have to sit with strangers, remarked "I went from sitting next to fat guy to sitting next to a guy who was farting the whole time."

"Don't worry," my brother replied "Jessie was also sitting next to a guy who was farting the whole time."

Nice work, Stinkbot.

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

I haven't washed my hair in 3 days. (I also haven't showered in 3 days, but that's more embarrassing to admit, so let's stick with the hair washing thing). Anyway, apparently the ~natural oils~ from my scalp made my hair all purty. I've gotten more compliments on my hair on this day than on any other.

I'm just glad no one's gotten close enough to smell me.

How long do you all go without a shower?

My dear friend Jen

Hello Jen,

I know this post is a little late in coming, but congratulations darling, on your marriage to Ed! It was a beautiful wedding and you and Ed are a beautiful couple. And you and Ed and Elle are a beautiful family!

Thanks for keeping up my hope that love exists, and thanks for taking part in teaching me how to use a tampon back in college (thanks also to the others who stood outside the bathroom door while my freak outs commenced). Both valuable things I've learned from you!!

Much love!
Jessie